The Craft Beer Week in Review: Oct 12 – 16, 2015

Darth Beer Nears Completion of the Death Keg

Resistance is futile. Wait... that's from another epic space story, but it applies nevertheless. The interpretations of what the merger of the planet's two largest brewers means range from this is the best thing to happen to craft beer since legalized homebrewing to drink your favorite brews while there's still time, and then kiss craft beer goodbye. One thing is for sure, the big evil corporation that is AB-Inbev is only going to get bigger and more evil.

Just how big will the Budweiser maker become after acquiring SABMiller? Well, how big is a company if its annual revenue is greater than the GDPs of 65% of the world's nations? According the the annual reports released by ABInbev and SABMiller in 2015, their combined revenue for 2014 was $73.351 billion, putting them ahead of fellow nation-states Costa Rica, Syria, Jordan, Afghanistan, Iceland, both Uruguay and Paraguay, and 115 other countries on The World Bank's 2014 list. One unnamed source says that after emerging from the merger, the newly formed behemoth will have its sights set on membership in the G8 (kidding).

If you follow the craft beer industry closely and you attempt to understand the challenges that small brewers face as they grow in markets, then you know just how evil AB-Inbev is, too. In just the past 18 months, they have gobbled up several of your favorite craft brewers, spent hundreds of millions of dollars on ads taking shots at craft beer drinkers, fought fair beer legislation through their puppet distribution trade organizations, shut off craft beer access to an entire region of a Southern U.S. state and attempted to do the same on the East Coast and in the North West by controlling distribution through the transfer of exclusive contracts. In fact, the latter acts have alerted the U.S. Justice Department, and AB is now being officially investigated under U.S. Antitrust laws. 

Nobody can say with certainty what the creation of a nation-sized corporation with stockpiles of resources and a six-continent logistics infrastructure, that is intent on blasting its way back to proportional relevancy in a critical market, where its stiffest competition is repeatedly poking a stick at it will mean for the prosperity of the now-over-4,000 American craft brewers, who are weakly aligned in resistance to the burgeoning beer hegemon. But, maybe taking in a movie at the theater this Christmas will provide some insight.

5 Things Darth Beer Says Believing That Americans Are Stupid

Deschutes Narrows Location List: Another West Coast Brewery is Heading Back East

Oregon craft brewery, Deschutes, is searching for an Eastern location for a new craft brewery, which it would like to have brewing in 2019. This week, the company updated its short list, and cities in both the Carolinas and Virginia have made the cut. Deshutes president Michael LaLonde is traveling to Asheville next week in what's described as an informal visit to meet the city's brewers and brewery owners and learn more about the scene there. There are no announced plans to visit South Carolina on this trip.

Deschutes would become the fifth major Western U.S. craft brewery to make the trek back East. In addition to strategically locating a manufacturing facility near rapidly growing markets, breweries like Deschutes are extremely concerned about the effects that drought in California, Oregon and Washington are having on the production of beer. Read More


Kermit The Frog Outs Himself as a Macro Shill

In this Youtube video Kermit exposes yet another reason why he is so lonely: he's an A-hole.

They say that kids who watch Sesame Street are significantly more likely to graduate from college. And now, kids who watch the new - apparently sponsored by AB-Inbev - Muppet Show are significantly more likely to grow up and become conformist consumers of garbage. Kermit the hater says in this clip, "I think the whole craft beer thing's gotten out of hand... I don't need pumpkin spice in my beer. It's like drinking a pie." Remind you of something else you saw this year on prime-time television?

Craft Beer News From Earlier This Month here

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